Finished? Not possible.

I'm finished, finished , finished

I'm totally empty and I'm actually not even that. This paradox –Knowing - and thus  keep silent -because I am completely confident that I AM YOU, makes that I acutally should like to die.  Although I was never born. I am finished.

That's what I posted last night on Facebook.

It's true. There is only one truth and that is for everyone the same Sometimes I find it not easy  that when I say that there are so few people who understand what I'm saying, that I am actually only talking about MYSELF !! Because I am convinced that I am YOU. So when I say that almost nobody understands what I am trying to tell you, it's inevitable that I don’t understand MYSELF !

And of course, this is the truth.  It is not for Anne (or Annette) to understand herself. She will never understand. Impossible. Understanding goes much further than that.

Look. You can never be finished. There is nothing to finish. There is always something NEW. Every moment! Every moment is created at the moment en therefore you will never get enough of it! How can you be finished if every moment is created at THIS moment? If YOU are created at this very moment? 

love

The question that is asked is: what is love?

Should I use a lot of words to answer this question? I don't think so. 

Love is all. Love is you, love is me. 

That’s it. 

Don’t you understand? Of course you DO understand!

Every  child knows naturally what love is. Children are very passionate. That’s their nature. That’s your nature.  From the bottom of their hearts they embrace everything that comes up in their lives. They have no idea!

Don’t you  remember what love means to you? Find your inner child. Remember yourself when you were just  a child. Look for that child in your heart. 

Staring mirrors

Staring mirros . (Dutch translation you can find www.absurdverlicht.blogspot.nl

In my story, "The Colors of Being Me" you can read how I, as a 16-year-old girl, had to wash old people when I was doing holiday work in a nursing home. During that time I discovered that if I remained motionless staring at my face in the mirror, my face took on many forms and finally turned into nothing, it just  disappeared. 

Last month  I discovered by chance a passage about this place in a book of the guru Osho, formerly known as Bhagwan Shree Rajnesh.

I  read a chapter on "mirror gazing”. I laughed because I had never heard of it, except that I do it myself occasionally .

Osho describes the following:

"There are many ways to help you get in touch with your consciousness. "(Note: Osho gives earlier that the unconscious in his view, a certain consciousness, otherwise you can never come in contact with it.)" I can suggest a simple exercise to help you. You must be at night before you go to bed and take a large mirror before you . The room must be pitched black. You put a small candle next to the mirror but so that the candle flame is not directly in the mirror.Your face should be in the mirror, not the flame. Stare constantly into your own eyes in the mirror without blinking. That experiment lasts 40 minutes and after three days, you can all the time to stare without blinking. Even if tears are welling up, let them come, but not blinking. And keep staring at your eyes. After a day or two, three, you become aware of something very peculiar: your face begins to take on different forms. You may even be afraid of! The face in the mirror takes other forms. Occasionally there will emerge a very different face, a face that you've never known that it belonged to you. But all the faces that you see belong to you. Your unconscious mind begins to explode. Those faces, masks, all belong to you. And sometimes you can even perceive a face in a previous life was with you. After a week of practicing faith - every night for 40 minutes staring - you face a constant stream changes. There remain all sorts of faces come and go. After three weeks more you know which of those faces is your real face. You won’t remember your face anymore because you are seeing so many come and go. If you keep on going through happens one day, something extremely strange happens: suddenly you see no face in the mirror! The mirror is empty! You stare into the void; There is no face at all. That is the moment! Then close your eyes and get to know your consciousness.  This is an extremely important moment. Suit your eyes, look inside and you will come face to face with your consciousness. You will be naked, completely naked: as you being. All deception falls away from you. That is your true face ... "

From: Meditation - Osho

That mirror gazing is a very strong - extremely strong - technique to your own abyss look and get acquainted with your own naked reality.

It's a form of meditation that "Tratak 'is mentioned and is also done with a photograph of the guru himself. Your consciousness must be in your eyes, keep your thinking self halt. If your whole consciousness has concentrated in the eyes, you have no energy left to  brain to think, says Osho.

Above, he describes this meditation can take up to three weeks before you reach your face disappear in the mirror. But perhaps you can let it just happen within a few minutes! (Like I can) Just try so.

Personally I think that this is important to you that it makes no sense to look into in the face that you see change. 

Once you think: hey, where's my face, you immediately see your face again ... Do not be afraid, but just wonder. There are so many optical tricks, your brain will do everything to understand   of what you see. The phenomenon of disappearance of your face in the mirror 'is an experience that gives meaning to the "disappearance". So you will start looking for this disappearance, you hope you see your face disappear. But the point is that it’s not about seeing no face, it’s about the process, discovering there is nothing here. 

This experience is seen BY YOU, it’s an experience by you and it appears IN You. It will pass by.   Do not attach, don’t make it  too important, they are just  meditation tricks; You're everything that appears In You! Both silence and non silence. Both form and not form.

As Osho describes you come face your subconscious and you will then be naked, this is meant as a clue. 

You can NEVER see your true face, your true face is that which appears in all forms and so don’t worry about it. Follow your heart, that’s what you should do. Really.  What you really are is only clear to you! 

Beggars

From childhood I have a fascination with gypsies, tramps, beggars. It has to do with a sense of independence and freedom.

When I was 10 years old, I saw street musicians earn their money with music. They were just on the sidewalk. That appealed to me tremendously and I realized that I wanted this, too. I could smell freedom.

That's why I wanted to travel around with a guitar. That is what I did when I was 18 years old. I sang in the streets to earn my money. And so I got to know the street life.

And thus, I came into contact with a lot of vagrants and beggars. (Gypsies,  that's another story.) On Sundays I stood between beggars, for the churches. That earned pretty good and the beggars who had their permanent place deserved better than usual. Because I sing and when the people gave me money, they immediately gave money to the other beggars. I also split my own income. They took me to other places and taught me the art of begging.

Very quickly I learned on this trip that it spiritually not matters whether you're rich or poor. Both poor and rich people experienced on average as much happiness as unhappiness.

Personally I felt better  with some poorer people than among the rich. The rich do mentally demanding (more intellectual) on their Being;  the poor behave much more direct (spontaneous). Okay, wealth is much easier and more fun and poverty can cause much misery. But my preference goes to the simple direct existence.

I have met several beggars who told me that they chose a life of beggars. It made them happy. This led them to the bottom of the existence. I also met beggars who had it really hard and struggled with the law of the strongest in the street. Yet I also saw a lot of humor and recognized by many beggars a large (often paranormal) sensitivity to their environment and who they are.

Much attention is devoted to tricks to extort money, to survive, the others are off smart. When I sang in the street, I had to  sing alone. Once a beggar came to sit next to me I immediately earned half as much. So I sent them away. I did not like it, but I also needed money to pay my places to sleep.

I have learned a lot from it. I have since my trip never been afraid of poverty. Poverty does not exist for me. Poverty does not exist because I have always MYSELF.

Whether you're rich and happy or poor and miserable: consciousness is universal. The possibility of experience of freedom is a universal given.

I

is she right?

My mother always said: "When we think of something, then it exists."

I think that is a well thought.

your life is a thought

Just back from a nice music afternoon in Castricum.

Very interesting place to have a satsang.

Of course I don’t do satsangs,  I have no answer to your questions. It  seemed like fun, but I will not do that.

Yeah, okay, if you ask me to tell a story, like how my autobiography arose, I will tell you a beautiful story of course. I invent that story on the spot. On the SPOT, here, here in the now. Because all stories are created NOW.

It could well be possible that my brains are completely out of sync. Because it seems like there is a hole somewhere where 'I' can crawl through and get contact with the 'impersonal' state of being.

As my youngest daughter used to say when she was 5 years old: "Wait, Mom, if I talk to a dead person I should  just turn on my radio in my head."

Is awareness in the brains? Or is there 'something' outside of me that  can watch myself?

The whole idea that consciousness occurs in the brains, it seems fairly obvious, but ... is a thought! "Consciousness that is in brains, or outside the brains " ... is a thought.

You make 'consciousness' a thing, you make a thing of it.

You can perceive other people's brains if you want to,  but the point is: YOU perceive, so the perception takes place IN you! In you. In you.

The question if  your consciousness resides in the brains is a THOUGHT. The question is THOUGHT, and there will always be new THOUGHTS come from. And then that scientifically will studied ... as thought. All proves are thoughts.

Not only demand is a thought, but even your life, your body, your awareness, your  being ... and everyone and everything that appear in your world ... they are nothing but thoughts. The allegations which I lay here are nothing but thoughts.

Okay, now probably you will leave. But this is what I tell you, if you see that your body and the world around you (time and space) is equal to THINK,  you can also see that behind that thinking that IN WHAT your thinking is taking place …  there's you true nature. That's what you are. Freedom. Indefinable  freedom. There is NO thinking there. Impossible. It’s what you are. It is YOU.

No, don’t ask me  questions .... But I do like to sing for you!

Sex and Jimi

Hi guys, back again, though I was still there.

Did you have a nice New Years Eve? Mine was quite a ‘back and forth thing’. Fortunality, I'm not really much identificated with , but I had to share it. Initially share it with myself and secondly share it …with myself .. .. you. The faster shared, the faster this kind of weather vagaries are over. (So ​​I put on facebook: "to be honest I am sad and depressed."

It's a prerequisite: whatever you say  about "What You Really Are"  or  "Enlightenment " or "Realisation " - be honest with yourself. Always.

There are people who do not feel the need to identify with emotions and if you are one of them, please  consider that motions are natural and need to be seen. By you.

Emotions will be experienced. By you.

I'm not saying right away that you ARE these emotions; I am not saying right away that you are your body or your self-invented-I action. I say it is convenient that you KNOW yourself and that includes the project  “I’” .

So, success and strength.

Because you need that. Few people know themselves. Why? Because you've been conditioned to defend yourself. Imagine still that no one finds you love, no one loves you...

What then is the point of life? Not. There is no use. But believe me, you love yourself. Otherwise you would not be so angry and sad at the thought that no one loves you!!

I do not know why I'm so confident in 'my vision, "perhaps because I know that my belief is always a lie. So there is no vision. There is no point. There is  TO SEE, but that is only given a thought. Because actually I see nothing. Not even an "I am".

Back to last night. I felt so fucked up suddenly. My daughter was watching the news, the annual review had already seen them. And I saw those images come by violence, and when that picture of the drowned child. And I had just seen before images of how Chinese people butchering their dogs to eat them. It was just too much suffering, you know. Then I come straight to the point of the so-called "see through" suffering.

That is a point where I've studied quite in. It seems like there is no fascination anymore with something like suffering, suffering in what way whatsoever. Your own suffering because you have physical pain, or your own suffering because you're depressed, you suffer because you feel nothing and wants to die (which is a thrill that you think you're not suffer). But why SEE THROUGH ??? I get crazy about all those people who claim to 'see through'. There is nothing to  SEE THROUGH. There's nothing to see really, so nothing 'to see through' at all.

And after Midnight   I listened to  some  nondualiteitBULLSHIT on youtube.  Okay, not false, certainly not untrue, who am i to condemn,  but  after listening for about 10 minutes of contrived stories about nonduality I needed  SEX and JIMI HENDRIX.

Since I currently have no sex life  I had to do it with JIMI. Listening to his song Voodoo was fine enough.

Finally, I would just quote my teenage daughter who does   her very best to meet a celebrity in Amsterdam:

"I am  getting closer. Justin Bieber I was two hourstoo  late and Josh Devine (drummer One Direction ) I wasonly  half an hour too  late. So it is getting better. "

Never give up!

JIMI HENDRIX